Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade (1989)

Starring – Harrison Ford; Sean Connery; Denholm Elliot; Alison Doody & John Rhys-Davies

Director – Steven Spielberg

MPAA – PG-13

How do you make an Indiana Jones film even better? Add Sean Connery to the cast. With the one two punch of Harrison Ford and Sean Connery, it is pretty darn difficult to come up with a bad final product. When you add Stephen Spielberg as the director and George Lucas as producer and one of the writers, all the elements are there for a spectacular film experience. Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade does not disappoint on any level; other than the fact that this has long been reputed to be the last film in the series. One can not be just a little sad that this much talent may never collaborate again to make another one of these films that really represent why people love going to the movies.

This time out, Indiana’s (Ford) father, Henry Jones (Connery) is working for a wealthy collector who is financing his life long quest for the Holy Grail. The Nazis, who are also interested in the Grail, are in competition with Jones. (I guess they are still ticked off over that whole Lost Ark thing.) Anyway, Jones goes missing. So son Indiana travels to his fathers last known location, Venice, to try to find out what happened to his father and also see if he can’t complete his father’s search for the Grail. He travels with longtime friend, Marcus Brody (Denholm Elliot), and the hook up with the elder Jones’ assistant, Dr. Elsa Schneider (Alison Doody). Together the three search Venice for clues to the location of the Grail. Jones eventually finds his father who joins the group on the quest for the Grail. As usual, Indiana’s adventures are never dull, and this time he has to deal with Nazis, rats and a high speed boat chase on the way to his goal of the Grail.

Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade is very well written and lives up to the first two films. No disappointments here. The film opens with a flashback sequence with Indiana as a boy and explains many of the reasons that Indiana is the man he is. Last Crusade is frequently funny; which is a tribute as much to the interaction of the leads as it is to the sharp writing. Harrison Ford and Sean Connery are perfectly cast as the father and son who don’t always see eye to eye. Throw in the supporting cast of Denholm Elliot and John Rhys-Davies (Sallah), both returning to their roles from Raiders Of The Lost Ark and there are more than a few light moments intertwined with the seemingly nonstop action.

Like the previous films, Stephen Spielberg gives us a film filled with elaborate stunts and the sort of settings that can only be found in an Indiana Jones movie. There is virtually nothing wrong with this movie from a technical standpoint. Last Crusade has stood up well in the 10 years since it first hit the big screen. It is easily one of the finest action/adventure films ever made. This film also compares very well to the first one, Raiders Of The Lost Ark, which in my opinion, is quite possibly the best film ever made.

9/10

The Ice Pirates (1984)

Starring – Robert Urich; Mary Crosby; Anjelica Huston; Ron Perlman & Michael D. Roberts

Director – Stewart Raffill

MPAA – PG

Cheesy from the word go. But I enjoyed it. I have to say that The Ice Pirates holds a few memories for me. When I first saw it in a theater, oh so many years ago, it was the first movie that I had ever seen in a theater with any sort of sexually suggestive dialogue. It was quite the shock. It is also the very first movie I ever rented when I got my very first VCR. I didn’t get it because it was so spectacular the first time around, but because it was Christmas and there wasn’t a great selection in the video store. Watching this time, I was surprised at just how packed to the max with cheese this sucker really was; although that seems to be the intention of the filmmakers. I can’t imagine that they ever expected anyone to take this film too seriously.

The Ice Pirates is set in a distant galaxy where ongoing wars have depleted the galaxy of water. So the most precious commodity is ice, and the evil rulers of the galaxy control that. Robert Urich (yes, Spencer: For Hire) plays an ice pirate who makes his living hijacking transport ships filled with shipments of ice. His crew is a motley band of scoundrels including Anjelica Huston (yes, that Anjelica Huston). On one of these raids, Urich runs into a beautiful princess (Mary Crosby — Bing’s daughter). He ends up falling for her and the two of them go off looking for her father — who has disappeared. This is a big simplification, but to be honest, in The Ice Pirates, I don’t think plot was ever something that anyone was real concerned about.

The movie is filled with every plot device, prop and cheesy special effect that can possibly be crammed into one film. All with seemingly the same purpose — the specific intent of making this film as cheesy as possible. These range from the space herpe that infects the ice pirate’s ship. To the high-speed effects which are used when the ship hits a time warp. I’m not even going to bother getting into the robots that populate this film.

Actually commenting on the performances of this film seems pointless. Everyone in this movie seems to be giving 110% effort at making their performances as over the top as the possible as they can without actually breaking up laughing during a line of dialogue. Bad; bad; bad; but since that is what they were going for, they can be excused somewhat.

If there were one compliment that I could give The Ice Pirates, it would be that nobody would ever confuse it for a good movie. But I still had fun watching it again.

5/10